Meltdown

I guess you've heard this hundreds of times before, so here goes one more: I FUCKING HATE THIS FUCKING HEAT!!!!
I hate the people who hate air conditioning, the people who hate drafts when there is no AC, I hate people who don't really mind this unbearable heat.
I hate that I have to work in this fucking heat, where there's no movement in the air, no breath of fresh air.
I hate the sweat, the uncomfortable feeling of leather around me, the closed windows, the heat of the laptop fan, the lack of oxygen.
I hate the nights when I could do something instead of trying to sleep off the weariness of long hot days and never succeeding.
I hate the work coming in without notice and settling in the top of already a hundred top priorities...
I hate dogs that have hair in this heat.
I hate the airconditioning in the car because I can't take it with me in the office.
I hate the office for being hot and smelling stale because there's no windows open because it would cause a draft and, GOD FORBID, one of the ... ladies in the other room might suddenly die from exposure to the elements. By that I mean the Cold, the Wind and all the other evils of this world. Much better in a hermetically sealed room at 40degrees centigrade, with no oxygen and no dry air.
I guess it helps having only a few neurons to feed with oxygen. Just imagine how it would be like to need to feed more than 3 of those hungry bastards....
I hate how the phone breaks down and you lose all your numbers (AGAIN!!!!) just two days before you had scheduled in your heated agenda the time to back up those fucking numbers.
I hate how icecream melts in 20 seconds and turns into sweet, hot melt...
I hate that bead of sweat rolling down the middle of your back, sending shivers of heat through your body.
I hate the commercials with sweaty people lounging by the pool in the Carribeans.
I hate that fucking headless guy in that mindless commercial and the way they stop shooting just as he starts eating those horrible buiscuits. I wish he would chew and try to swallow. That at least would be COOOL.
I hate suit pants. Why the fuck do we need pants to sit at a fucking computer??? I'd have no problem with the ladies in the other room wearing no pants in the office. Why should me wearing no pants in the office bother THEM?
I hate recession, where AC units seem expensive and unnecessary.
I hate asking for something and getting "uugghh.... it's 6 o'clock, we're going home".
I hate the sea for being so far.
I hate pools for not being mine.
I hate that I have to write this blog, the only constructive thing I've managed to do all day, in the kitchen, because there's a semblance of movement of air that someday, if it goes to college, might become a draft.
I hate coffee for not being on tap.
I hate that fucking musqito and I swear I will hunt it down and kill it in pains. I will stick its ugly fucking head on a toothpick and put it in front of the window, as a warning for other bloodsuckers (insects, i mean) that might foster a desire for Dan blood. You fucking ugly thing! Come bleed me when I work, not when I'm trying to get some fucking sleep.

I think I need a fucking vacation in the hottest place on earth, maybe in a volcano, in a hermetically sealed room with 5 AC units on full blast. Contemplating the heat outside.
I also think I should fucking stop swearing this much.